This evening I read an article about the mass-exodus of Facebook users, and honestly, I was not surprised. I just returned from a three week Facebook hiatus, myself, and I would have stayed away longer if it weren't for the fact that I use the site for a course I teach. (Not my choice, though I have to say it is convenient.)
Personally, I have experienced the Facebook "addiction," but this fact is not the biggest issue I have faced with this social networking parasite. (Yes, I just said that!) The fact that I have subscribed to Facebook mobile to offset large phone bills accrued from checking my site has not been the biggest issue for me with Facebook. (By the way, Facebook mobile is like an IV to Facebook. There is no way to get away from social networking once you carry it on your cell phone. Very clever, really. It's equivalent to the drug we all swear that Starbucks uses in their drinks.) The biggest issue has been the social networking itself! I have grown very tired of everyone I know (people I know a lot, people I know a little, people I know as friends, people I know as acquaintances) knowing everything about me. True, no one can know anything for sure unless I tell them (via Facebook), but the fact that people make inferences about me due to what they read on Facebook annoys me...
Friendship, it seems, has digressed to such a superficial level that people learn things about their friends through Facebook, and instead of calling them to ask for details, they make assumptions...or just post a Facebook comment. I realize the usefulness of Facebook if other contact information is not available--and I've used it for this reason on several occasions even recently--but there are some instances where the Facebook interpretation of a situation can get pretty out of hand.
I was involved a frustrating and heartbreaking situation this summer, and some of my Facebook friends found out about it through Facebook. Those who did not catch on to my status messages or didn't see me in "real life" missed the whole thing. Three months later, I found myself harassed by messages, from those who had missed it when it happened, who seemed to have very strange interpretations of what was going on with me. In reality, I had merely tried to live my life normally in spite of my circumstances, and my actions were not only misinterpreted but, in some instances, entirely misjudged. I took a break from Facebook just to clear my head and reconsider how much of my life really needs to be on display for everyone to see. In instances where heartbreak is concerned, especially, motivations can be greatly confused by onlookers, actions are often judged strongly (which seems like the opposite of the way they should be regarded), and appearances become the sole evidence of a situation. Facebook only perpetuates these problems which would ordinarily occur anyway. No one ever wants to ASK me how I'm doing, they just want to assume. I'd prefer to have friendships that are real and that operate in a face-to-face setting...
*Note: I do realize that some old friendships would never be rekindled without Facebook, and that is one reason that I have returned. Present drama continues to plague me, but if any of my friends have noted a minimum of personal information available about me, I hope they won't take it personally. I have simply minimized available information for all because I am tired of being judged, misjudged, rejudged, and misjudged again. If you want to know how I am feeling about the enormous changes in my life this year, give me a call and I'd be happy to chat. Otherwise, don't guess...I haven't given enough information on my Facebook site for you to have ANY IDEA AT ALL what is going on in my life these days.
You think you know...but you don't. I want to be friends, I just want to be friends the normal way sometimes. I don't mind being contacted through Facebook, but I also have a phone number, so ask me for it if you want to get in touch about more personal matters. =)
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I'd say these are pretty accurate observations. I took a "break" from facebook a while back too, just to really assess why I even bother with it. Obviously, it is useful with keeping in touch with old friends, classmates, etc. who I do not see otherwise. (For example, it's how I keep in touch with you from time to time!) It's got it's positive points, but it seems that some of us have lost sight of what the original intention was, and we broadcast our personal lives for pretty much anyone to see. I guess it's just like anything else in life....moderation and good judgement. I hope not everyone leaves the facebook world, but I certainly do wish we would all remember that our personal lives should be just that...personal.
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